Girl, You're So Groovy I Want You To Know

I just had one of the most amazing experiences in my life thus far. We started playing music for the baby by putting headphones up to Jilly’s belly. We keep the volume low, making sure it wasn’t too loud. Everyone we’ve talked to has said that this is a great way to instill rhythm, melody and artistic taste – all while in utero.

Anyway, during the first chorus of “Debaser” by the Pixies, baby started rocking out. Taking a cue from dad, he/she landed his/her first rock ’n roll kick square to Jilly’s gut. And right at the perfect spot in the song, too. You know the place…right where Black Francis screams, “I Am Un…Chien.” The kick occurred right on the downbeat…perfect. That’s my boy/girl.

Canine Noir

I’ve been keeping this online journal for about four months now and I’ve never formally introduced you to my favorite non-human. Ladies and gentlemen, Monty Elliott. Jilly and I adopted Monty Elliott on August 26th, 2003 from the Humane Society of western Pennsylvania.

If you are considering getting a pet, I highly recommend adopting from a shelter. Monty was in pretty bad shape when we adopted him, but we nursed him back to health and the rest is history. A year and a half later, Monty is a healthy and energetic lab/terrier puppy.

I think of him as a son. I get proud when he does something good like piss really fast when its freezing outside. I get sad when he does something unacceptable like rip open a pillow from the Livingroom couch. For the most part he is very well behaved and listens intently.

He can be intense at times, and I like that. He loves people and gets so excited when new people come over, but makes for a great guard dog when someone attempts to enter uninvited. Living on the northside of Pittsburgh, this is a good trait to have. Our friend Katie made the mistake of coming in through our back door and he almost swallowed her whole.

Don’t worry, he didn’t bite her, but he scared her more than the Bush administration scares me on a daily basis.

And now a message from Monty: “For all you bitches out there, I like long walks through the park, Kibbles and Bits from the can (only every so often as a delicacy), playing fetch and licking myself in my nether-region. I’m single and looking for that special lady to party with. I’m fixed so I won’t knock you up. Interested parties can EMAIL me through my Dad and he will relay the message. I’ll hit you back. Word.

Mr. Mullett and Mary Katherine Gallegher. We both had headaches this morning.